Heartbreak

Today was supposed to be a day of joy, happiness, and the announcing or our soon to be addition to the family. Yes, that's right we would have been 14 weeks pregnant today.

After many weeks of confusing ultrasounds the doctor finally told us Friday the we had no choice but to have an emergency D&C done that day the baby had no heartbeat and I had a severe infection that could kill me. I was not having any issues that would point to a miscarriage or any problems with this pregnancy so I was having a hard time adjusting to the news.

Today, should have been a amazing day but instead we are grieving the loss of what was supposed to be our miracle baby. I have been told that there were issues with my surgery that lead to some kind of infertility and I would probably not be able to produce or carry anymore children. So this pregnancy was quite the shock and we were thrilled to say the least!!

After 13 weeks and 4 days we thought we had made it! I am frustrated, angry, sad, depressed, and somehow I've seemed to make piece with it all. Weird right?

I didn't post this on here to get your pity or for you to feel bad for us, I posted this for others that may have this happen after surgery and needed support or a shoulder to lean on! I don't want you to treat me different or act like this is something that needs to be kept under the table! Miscarriages happen to every 1 out of 5 women they should be talked about and not be swept under the table! I am not ashamed of the fact that we lost our baby, and I'm not mad at anyone for not knowing what to say.  So I wanted to say Thank you to all of you who have checked up on us and acknowledged the fact that this is real:) It means the world to me!

God has a plan for us all and even though you don't see it , its nothing you wont be able to handle! I know it may seem a little overwhelming because at this moment I feel very overwhelmed but remember there is always someone out there that is there for you! So reach out!